Ten Years Ago ...

Ten years ago, Ten years ago my grandmother, my beloved Nanny, died at the age of 90. The memories I have of Nanny are the best. I could always make her laugh. She's the one in green in the picture, standing next to my Aunt Ruby. Nanny and I were very close and I was devastated. When she died, she had Alzheimer's Disease and didn't know me when she saw me. She died in her sleep. They say that that is the best way to go. Peacefully and while sleeping.

Ten years ago I was sitting in a Biology class at Spalding University, thinking about how I was going to celebrate my 29th birthday, when we were told that a plane had crashed into one of the Twin Towers in New York City. As the horrific events of that tragic day kept unfolding, the desire to celebrate my birthday was squashed. The senseless loss of life on 9/11 forever changed the American way of life, including the way I felt about my birthday. For a time, I thought I would never celebrate my birthday again. They say we should never forget. Never forget those who lost their lives and never forget how to celebrate life.

Ten years ago, my cat of 16 years, the cat I got for my 13th birthday, Mr. Tibbs had to be put down. His kidneys were shutting down, his liver stopped working, he had heart disease and didn't want to be touched. The vet said she could give him drugs to prolong his life, but that if it were her cat, she wouldn't do that. He would still be in pain and not have any quality of life. I was too upset to drive. My parents had to take me to the vet. While I held his paw, Mr. Tibbs took his last breath. I choked back my tears, told him goodbye and that he been the best friend a girl could ever have. I scoped him up in blankets and held him all the way home to bury him. Even my dad cried. It hurt my heart. They say time heals all wounds.

Ten years ago I was going to get my haircut, when my car broke down on a chilly Saturday morning in front of the Mall St. Matthews at a light, stopping traffic. I reached for my cell phone to call for help and it was dead. I beat my head on the steering wheel as passers-by honked their horn, raised their fist in angry aggression and flipped me off for causing them the inconvenience of having to switch lanes on a busy, crowded six lane road. As I prepared myself for the long hike through the Mall parking lot to get to a store to call for help, a young family pulled up beside me, saw my frustration and offered to take me to the Mall to call for help. They say when you least expect it, God sends you an angel.

Ten years ago my great aunt, Nanny's sister, Ruby passed away. She was frail and though I did not get to see her as often as I would have liked, I have very fond memories of her when I was a child. She gave great hugs and had smile that looked every bit as mischievous as I felt. Peas in a pod.Every October, we would go to Southside Baptist Church for the Senior Citizens Bizarre and I would sit with Aunt Ruby and enjoy a hot bowl of chili and whatever piece of cake she brought to the table. Those fall Saturdays were the best, but they have long since passed. They say its not that you go on, but how you go on that counts.

Ten years ago I sat in the parking lot at work. I had gotten out later than usual and waited for AAA to come because my tire was flatter than a pancake. A co-worker who knew the kind of year I was having came out to go to her car, stopped where I was standing, looked at my tire and then looked at my weary face and said, "Man Kathy, I think you must have royally pissed someone off. I would not want to live your life right now." We laughed. Well she laughed and I sort of half grinned and she got in her car to leave. They say things will get better.

Let's face it 2001, for me, sucked. I mean it royally sucked. It was so bad for me that one of my best friends gave me a book for Christmas. It was How To Survive The Worse Case Scenario. Very appropriate. When I opened it, I actually let out a fully bellied laugh. One you might hear and think, "That person has totally gone off their rocker." It was a rough year. It had me and my parents and other family members shaking their heads in disbelief and counting down the days to a new year. When we rang 2002 in, it felt like a great weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

I'm not sure who "they" are, but in retrospect, I guess "they" are right. I'm glad my grandmother went peacefully and didn't needlessly suffer. I will never forget those people who lost their lives on 9/11 nor will I ever take for granted how precious everyday God has given me. I will celebrate my birthday with a sense of pride. Pride in how our country united together to get through such a searing loss.

Time does seem to heal the stinging bite that the pain of loss can create. You learn to hang on to your good memories and tend to let go of the hurtful ones. Time can temper and make the harsh events of yesteryear more tenable.

There are people, or angels to some, God sends to you in times of crisis. Whether it be for a lifetime or for a fleeting moment they are there to help you, because you cannot do it alone.

The important thing about going on is that you go on in a manner that honors those lost. With an attitude of, "This too, shall pass," you can accomplish far more than you give yourself credit for. Learn from your past experiences and pass on the things you've learned to those now going through the fire you yourself once walked through. Be there for someone when it counts and let them know that things will get better. As trite as it sounds, it rings true.

Ten years ago, I suffered through one of the worst years of my life and I am the better for it.