"No Gnews Is Good Gnews ..."

When I was in third grade, I would go to my friend Vicki's house in the mornings before going to school. We would, among other things, watch TV, drink hot chocolate and beat the snot out of each other with couch pillows. Ah, good times.

One of the shows we watched was called The Great Space Coaster. I don’t remember much about the premise and remember very few characters on there. I do remember a very large, creepy clown that spun around a lot giving all children nightmares because clowns that large are just plain wrong. His name was Baxter and he drove the space coaster around with three gawky, goofy and geeky looking young adults who liked to sing a lot. Too much for my taste. I also remember on one episode Mark Hamill was a guest star and even in third grade I thought, “Wow, this guy’s career has really sunk to an all new low.”

But the one character I remember the most was Gary Gnu. Shock of all shocks, Gary was a gnu. But not just any gnu, he was a gnu newscaster that hosted his own segment called The Gary Gnu Show. He started every show with, "This is Gary Gnu and The No Gnews Is Good Gnews Show. The only TV gnews program guaranteed to contain no gnews whatsoever." His catchphrase was, “No gnews, is good gnews with Gary … Gnu!” I laugh even now remembering. Well, it’s more like a chuckle. Suffice it to say, you’d have to see it to really get the full scope of humor.

He used the “g” sound in front of most words that began with an “n”, like gnature or gnow or, well you get the point. Come to think of it, that probably wasn’t the best educational tool to be showing young minds before school every morning, but I digress.

At this point, some of you are thinking that I’m just rambling, but I have a point. I just have to remember it. Ah yes! The point is that I have gnews for you in regards to my MRI. I do apologize for leaving some of you hanging. It was gnot my intention to do so.

My gnews is really gnon gnews since they didn’t find any problems on the MRI. Yay! While that is most excellent gnews, it begs the question, “What is the deal with the headaches?” I did go back to my general practitioner and he still seems to think I have a sinus infection that just won’t quit. So I have been on another round of antibiotics, some steroids and Sudafed PE. If this doesn’t get it, then I have to see an ENT and hopefully they can clear up the problem. My feeling is that if you are an allergy and sinus sufferer, then this is the worst city in which to live - in the entire world. However, moving seems like an awful lot of work and one of my closest friends just came back here, so it looks like I’ll have to stay and deal with the constant Ohio Valley Crud floating through the air polluting my sinuses. Ah, good times.

I’ll keep you posted, but if it’s a little while before you hear from me, just remember, “No gnews is good gnews!”